Over the past two years, I feel as though I’ve been downsized—like an emotional downsizing. Time has new meaning in the “new normal” and the way I spend it has become crucial, led by a feeling of urgency. It’s as if I don’t have any time to waste.
Small talk feels more like a burden, and it has become easier to say no to spending time with unpleasant company. I have no patience for those who are phony or cheap. It’s so easy to spot them these days, making it very clear just who I do wish to spend time with—people who show up with authenticity and transparency.
Do you know how to say no?
After all these years, I still struggle with no. You are right, my priorities have definitely shifted!
I so understand your feelings. My world has become smaller. I too have come to realize who are peripheral friends and who remain my close friends. I don’t have patience to fair weather friends, and those who are connected with me and me with them are friends from the heart. We treasure each other, we value each other, and we are devoted to each other.
About five years ago standing online waiting to go through security (coming home from Israel), it was not a straight line but a snake formation, I recognized someone by her profile, and leaned over and called her name. She looked at me and without hesitation said my name. we had not seen each other in 53 years, we were best friends in grades 3-8th grade.
We have been in touch for the last few years, called each other almost every Erev Shabbat….The last time i spoke with her was Sukkot, things got crazy for me and i neglected to call, I was planning to call her this past week when i received a phone call from her husband, my darling childhood friend passed away. She told no one other than immediate family that she was sick. While sitting Shiva my friend’s daughter, Yael, told her father, “We have to call Shaindy”. I spoke with Yael this week, although i never met her, i asked if i could keep in touch with her, she was delighted and told me that growing up my name was often mentioned by her mother, she said she feels as if she knows me. how precious is that.
Devoted Alembika Girl
Your story touched many many soft spots. Girlfriends, mothers, and friendships are what make me love being a woman.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us!