Gennifer Birnbach You may have heard the phrase “reason, season, lifetime.” It is often attached to relationships and explains how all relationships, regardless of their length, have some kind of purpose for being in your life. This is because there are times when someone or even someplace or something just does not fit anymore.
Think about how much you’ve grown and how much you’ve changed in your lifetime. Some of that may have been circumstantial and some may have been very purposeful. With all of those growth spurts, learning curves, reinvention and evolution you may have gathered or lost a friend, a family member or a trusted co-worker. While this idea is often connected to people in your life in the form of friendship or romance, it can also apply to your career path, family, hobbies, habits, musical taste, zip code, preferred airline or favorite restaurant too.
If you find yourself shedding the old, making room for the new and feeling a little uneasy about ending relationships with people, places or things, please know this is normal.
You can and will heal a broken heart for what can no longer be. You can release blame and guilt in a way that best honors your highest self. You can find peace, eventually, with lost connections. One way to reclaim your power is by transforming guilt, hurt and blame into gratitude, love and peace.
1st – physically write down a person, place, situation or thing that you realize is coming to an end. Handwriting it because the feeling of writing it is actually more impactful than typing it. Additionally, your personal handwriting is a crucial ingredient to this process.
2nd – write down all of the blame, guilt and hurt that you feel when you think about this relationship.
3rd – tap on your heart using your index, middle and ring finger. Tap on or around your heart however it feels calming and for as long as you feel called to do this. You can also try a small, circular rub as if to create warmth. This exercise wakes up your heart chakra and helps with exchanging hurt with love.
4th – list 3-5 words or phrases of gratitude that you can send lovingly to this person, place, situation or thing. You can include heartfelt wishes for both sides to find compassion and peace with this ending.
5th – strengthen your intention by signing the note with kindness from you to you for setting yourself free. If you feel like being “extra” put on lipstick and leave a kissy mark on the note too.
Take time each day to read your note of appreciation and take note of any new thoughts or sensations you experience. If the thought of doing this feels a little overwhelming (or too final) start with something small.
Maybe you have to say goodbye to cheese (at least for now) or it’s time to step down from a volunteer position for a cause you believe in but just can’t devote the time to it anymore. Remember, every door you close can always be revisited. Nothing is permanent, unless you want it to be. That’s up to you and you always have the freedom to change your mind.
